Finally, there is true and perfect friendship, which is sought for the sake of the other. A second kind of friendship is that which is based upon pleasure, which lasts only as long as one derives enjoyment from the other. First, there is the friendship of utility, which is based upon the usefulness each party derives from the other.

Aristotle identifies three kinds of friendship that, though distinct, are not necessarily exclusive. While he does not delve much into spousal relationships, Aristotle does consider friendship to be one of the chief fruits and aids to the virtuous life. Even among Austen’s men, in Persuasion, Captain Wentworth receives support from his friend, Captain Harville, in weathering the storm of his passions and his reason after Anne breaks off their first engagement. Knightley expresses great concern over the heroine’s lack of a proper friend from whom she can derive true benefit. Isabella seeks Catherine’s friendship only for the sake of furthering her own prospects, whereas Elinor continually shows an earnest interest in Catherine and seeks to comfort her in her trials. Catherine Morland learns the distinction between true and false friends by comparing the fickleness of Isabella Thorpe to the constancy of Elinor Tilney.

Throughout each of Austen’s novels, friendship plays a prominent role. In so doing, she provides a sharp contrast with her friend Elizabeth, who-though not a complete romantic in her own notions of matrimony-has a higher estimation of the relationship that ought to be shared by spouses. Given her outlook, there is no surprise that Charlotte agrees to marry a man for whom she has little or no esteem.

In her mind, the happiness that accompanies true friendship is not a necessity for a good marriage but is, rather, a blessing that is a bonus in cases of good fortune. Such are the thoughts of Charlotte Lucas concerning the nature of the relationship enjoyed by husband and wife. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.” If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

May we be equally united in Thy faith and fear, in fervent devotion towards Thee, and in Thy merciful protection this night. For all whom we love and value, for every friend and connection, we equally pray however divided and far asunder, we know that we are alike before Thee and under Thine eye.

Love and friendship quotes jane austen